Thursday, October 25, 2007

I Was a Teenage Terrorist

This was a decade before Columbine. Back before school shootings were really in vogue. Also, this was in a white bread suburb that was known for its lack of crime.

I do a lot of stupid things to which I don't give a lot of thought. One of my most famous boners had to be decorating one of my high school folders with a picture of the cheer leading team that I cut out of a local paper. I defaced it by erasing their eyes. Creepy, but not threatening. It was my addition of the caption, "Nazi Cheerleaders Must Die" that seemed to really upset the apple cart. This homage to Peter George's SURF NAZIS MUST DIE (1987) was taken as a threat against the paragons of pep.

Almost two decades later, I can definitely see where I might have been justifiably perceived as a bad apple and potential serial murderer rather than the disgruntled social misfit that I was. The funny part -- if there is a funny part to all of this -- is that I was completely clueless to the stir I had caused. I came in from going through marching band drills one morning to learn that my locker and books had been searched. An appointment with the principal (lovingly known as Knuckle Head) followed.

I was flabbergasted that anyone would think that little old me would be plotting to knock off the cheerleading squad. How else could my "artwork" be interpreted? These are the things that I think of now and just shake my head, thinking "What kind of clueless shit am I doing now that I'll shake my head about two decades in the future?"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

First of all, let me just say that if you locked up every teenager who acted like a "potential serial murderer", there would be very few kids left in America. And they'd all be assholes.

Secondly, as someone who was there, I think it was the cheelreaders' swastika armbands that really got the authorities in an uproar. Obviously Knuckle Head was not familiar with "Surf Nazis Must Die," or the Troma catalog in general.

And lastly, I find it a continual source of amusement that the real, literal murderers in our town (you know who I'm talking about) were never spoken of, while us lame, nerdy "oddball" kids were constantly held up as shining examples of the decline of society.

Thanks for the memories.

- Leon

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